Dark Side Of Parenting

I read parenting advice, thoughts, ideas etc from numerous blogs each week & they all have 1 thing in common, they usually talk about the good, the positive, the uplifting things about parenting.  I think that’s great and all, and I do enjoy reading them, but what isn’t talked about as much is the dark side of parenting.  The days were you just want to curl up in a ball, ignore the whole world, crying & crying, & thinking where did I go wrong?  Those days are the days, you need people to talk about, you need to know your not alone, you need to know every parent goes through those challenging moment, you need to know that like with everything, parenting has a dark side too.
Tonight was one of those nights for me.  It took over everything in my world & the only reason I didn’t cry was because I was babysitting during this situation.  Parenting teens is something you can’t begin to understand till you are there.  It has been one of the hardest but very rewarding thing I have ever done.  My eldest who is almost 16 didn’t make good choices tonight.  And because of his poor choices, a lot of things happened……..he made not only himself but our family look bad, he might have lost the only friend he had, he hurt people who really care about him, there will be more consequences from his actions by his peers like gossip or people making fun of him, & he lost our trust (which is so hard to get back.)  It just breaks my heart to see how all of this is self inflicted, he brought it upon himself.
My job as a parent is to show them the path when they are lost, but only they can walk down that road.  I let him know that everyone has made poor decisions numerous times in their lives, but that we have to deal with the fallout, the consequences of our actions.
Nothing in life is every just happy & sunny 100% of the time.  There are those dark times that we all must endure to get to the happy days, the days that make all the hardships worth while.  Only then do we appreciate the happiness & blessings in our lives.  I am happy to say, that tonight is almost over, which means tomorrow’s another day.  And another chance at making it better than today.

Anyone out there that can relate, feel free to leave me a comment or two. 

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8 thoughts on “Dark Side Of Parenting

  1. Yes, of course all of us who have parented teens know and feel your sense of confusion, anger, disappointment, and sheer exasperation. No doubt your son is feeling all of that, in addition to the weight of your disappointment in him. First, just listen to him. Breathe and say as little as possible at first. Let him talk it out to you. This is one of those watershed moments which will define your relationship with him forever. Take it slow. Clearly define the consequences, and then just love him. My guess is that as unhappy and emotionally wrecked as you feel, he probably feels worse. Hugs. Hang in there. Parenting is the toughest job you will ever have, but also the most rewarding.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for your reply & kind words. 🙂
      It is much harder than I ever thought. I give my dad some credit because I was a horrible child, much worse than any of kids. I don’t know how he made it through.
      We were able to have a big talk out, later in the night, once I got passed my hurt feelings. I wanted to make sure I could have a productive not emotional conversation with him, that would be beneficial to us both.
      It is such a rewarding job, but they aren’t kidding you when they tell you the teen years are rough. Thankfully today seems to have started off on a better foot.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve been parenting teenagers for 12 years now. It is so hard! I’ve watched people destroy their relationships with their teens because being right and showing them who is in charge was more important than what was actually going on with their kid. Keeping the line of communication open, showing respect and sticking it out, while remaining the parent is a tough balancing act. I experienced some of my lowest parenting moments while parenting my teens. I think it is so important to be present and not give up.

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    • Great advice, thank you. 🙂
      I really don’t want to destroy my relationship with my kids. But I too have seen it happen numerous times. My oldest daughter who is 14 ( I have 2 teens in the house right now lol), most of her friends don’t have a good if any relationship with their mothers. But they do there dad. I don’t want to be one of those mothers. With my son having his own challenges I have never gave up, but last night I really wanted to. But after I let my initial emotions of hurt fade enough, we were able to have a great long talk.
      12 years, your a veteran at this. One question I do have for you, during your low periods, where there was turmoil and/or teen drama, did it affect your other children? I worry that these things will affect my little ones, since they are around during these times. I do make them go out of the room and downstairs but they can still hear what is going on.

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      • My oldest son is quite different from the other two so when he was at his worst, they were incredibly impressionable and I think if there had been any chance of them following in his footsteps (which there wasn’t), that scared them.

        We were lucky and as far as your standard “bad teen choices” go, the oldest only did a few things, and the other two didn’t know about them.

        To be honest, I’m pretty sure if I was to ask them about it now, they probably don’t even remember what happened.

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  3. You are not alone. Despite all the sunshiney moments that come out of parenting, there are dark moments and youre correct, people do need to talk about it more. It doesnt do any of us any good to sugarcoat.
    Im sorry to hear about your son’s mistake. Whatever happened and whatever the consequences the only chance at redemption any of us have is to deal with reality. ((hugs))
    Youre doing a good job, Mom. We can do hard things.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I do wished more people shared both parts of parenting, because it does help others to share the good and not so good things. Whether it’s just to let others know they aren’t alone, to offer ideas or helpful information. Thank you for stopping by & giving me words of encouragement. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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