Up until 3 years ago, my life was always fast paced, full of excitement & disappoints, never having a dull moment. This all changed, or maybe it seemed to changed because my perspective and outlook on life changed. I became completely content with my life and the direction it is going in. I’m sure this plays a part with why things changed, but nevertheless, things changed. And I welcomed it…….greeted the change of season with open arms.
With all the positive things & feelings that are a part of my life, there was one feeling that I wasn’t counting on feeling……the feeling of “treading water”. As my life was playing out, during what seemed as my quieter years, I kept feeling as I was just simply at a stand still. That I wasn’t moving back nor going forwards, I was just watching the world around me pass on by. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel like this all the time, it’s just a feeling I get from time to time during this past year. Just like with anything new, I have to learn how to deal with it, otherwise it could turn into something more, like discontent.
A few weeks ago, I had a doctor’s appt for a check up with my chronic illness. I knew I haven’t seen my doctor in awhile, but didn’t realize it has been 8 months. That’s a long time for someone who lives with a chronic illness to not see their doctor. This appointment was the most uplifting, positive appointment I have ever had. My doctor has always been a cheerleader for me. Even during my worst moments, where I broke down and cried about how hard & awful my illness is. How can I make it through this, if I don’t know a single soul that has what I have, no one to understand what I deal with everyday? My doctor walked in and her eye became big with the surprise of how I looked. I lost 40lbs. since I last saw her, my heart rate was 120-125 at rest but now its 85, I can breathe when I walk, I am can do all my household chores, & food doesn’t effect me like it used to, I am able to play with my kids a little more without killing my stomach. Sure I still get sick all the time and usually end up throwing up quite a big, but that’s ok because my quality of life is 100% better than I ever thought it would be. She went on to tell me how proud she is of me, how amazing it is to see how well I am doing etc…. I walked out feeling so amazing. How could I ever think I was “treading water?”
When I looked back from where I was 8 months ago, it actually amazing to me to see how far I really have gone. I reason I felt like I wasn’t moving, standing still because I wasn’t looking at the big picture. I in fact, am living life everyday, not taking a step back looking at the big picture. I couldn’t see the path since I am currently traveling on. Only when I stopped and looked back, could I see how much I have accomplished, how much I have been through (good & bad), and how my travels & experiences have changed me. No one, is just standing still, “treading water”, watching the world pass us by. So no matter how we feel, living our daily lives, we are not “treading water.” Just take the time to stop moving, look back a year, two, or ten, & see how much our lives have changed and we have come. You will be amazed too. And maybe just maybe the feeling of “treading water” will no longer exist to you. I will leave you with the below quote:
Have you ever felt this way? How did you overcome this feeling? Or did it get the better of you, as it did me? Love to hear other people’s thoughts on this……..