Ten years ago, I got my 1st camera and started taking pictures of my children. I loved being able to capture a moment, that I will always remember. I also loved being able to tell a story through my images. At this time, I wasn’t very creative, mostly point & shoot but it was the beginning of my journey.
As my kids grew, so did my photography. I began to be more creative, thinking outside the box, which enabled me to capture some great images. Each image had either different perspective or the personality of the person in the image. I began to fall in love with photography.
About 3 or 4 years into my journey, I began doing portraits for people who couldn’t afford a professional photographer. I believed that everyone no matter what their financial situation is, should have portraits of their loved ones. This experience changed how I looked at everything. It was hard at first, completely out of my comfort zone, but so rewarding. One bride I took pics for I didn’t do that great of a job. Or at least I didn’t think so. But she loved them. Sadly a year later, her husband died and these are the last images they have together as a family. Something I’m sure she will always cherish. Or my 1st newborn pics I took for a sick mother who didn’t think she would live long enough to see her baby hit middle school. So a local non-profit hired me to go to her house and capture images of her family. These moments are something I will always remember and keep with me.
This is about the time I started comparing myself to professional photographers. I was amazed at the talent out there and didn’t think I could compete with them. All I could think was, “how would I ever be a photographer when the competition is so much better? Who would want to go to me when they could go to them?” This negative self talk hindered my photography journey for a few years. I let self doubt completely take over and stopped offering photography. Sure I had a few jobs here & there but I didn’t make an effort or work towards accepting new clients & starting my photography business. Deep down inside I really wanted to start my own photography business. But I gave up…….I gave up on myself.
“Don’t let the negativity from within squash your desires. ”
Fast forwards a few years to last October. Something inside of me changed. I began really looking into different types of photography and seeing how 90% of the amazing images out there are enhanced, altered, & combined to make the image we all see. While that is great, it made me rethink everything about myself & my photography. I may not have the best equipment, but I have heart & truly love what I do. I have an eye for seeing things others don’t see, being creative, which is evident through my images. There will always be someone better than me but I’m not looking to be the best. I’m just looking to offer my photographer where it is needed. And this is where I began thinking I could really start my own business. This is where I began to fall back in love with photography.
A month later, I put in a bid for some modeling head shots which I’ve never done. And I got the job. I was so excited but nervous. It went great and I LOVED it. I walked away so excited with a continuous smile. That was the moment I knew that this is what I want to do. And I’ve branched off from there. I’ve gotten more clients, with all ranges of needs from maternity to birthdays & a possible up & coming rock band. I’ve been working hard to capture new images as well as expand my portfolio. Now, I’m willing to travel all over New England and even into NY, which gives me a lot more potential clients. I’ve been working slowly but things are now starting to come together. Just recently a local business is going to be referring her clients to me. She does everything from proms, to weddings to any special events that need their makeup done. How awesome is that?
As I sit here today, I realized if I had completely given up, I wouldn’t be as happy as I am right now, in this moment. I never knew what I wanted to do, other than raising my 5 kids, which left me a little empty inside. But that emptiness is filling up. I know I want to travel, to capture special moments for others, & to share my gift with as many people as I can. But the best part, is that my family can come with me, so we all can share this journey together.
“Just remember……..No matter how long it takes you, NEVER give up on yourself. “
Do you have a time you almost gave up on yourself? What changed your mind?