Dark Side Of Parenting

I read parenting advice, thoughts, ideas etc from numerous blogs each week & they all have 1 thing in common, they usually talk about the good, the positive, the uplifting things about parenting.  I think that’s great and all, and I do enjoy reading them, but what isn’t talked about as much is the dark side of parenting.  The days were you just want to curl up in a ball, ignore the whole world, crying & crying, & thinking where did I go wrong?  Those days are the days, you need people to talk about, you need to know your not alone, you need to know every parent goes through those challenging moment, you need to know that like with everything, parenting has a dark side too.
Tonight was one of those nights for me.  It took over everything in my world & the only reason I didn’t cry was because I was babysitting during this situation.  Parenting teens is something you can’t begin to understand till you are there.  It has been one of the hardest but very rewarding thing I have ever done.  My eldest who is almost 16 didn’t make good choices tonight.  And because of his poor choices, a lot of things happened……..he made not only himself but our family look bad, he might have lost the only friend he had, he hurt people who really care about him, there will be more consequences from his actions by his peers like gossip or people making fun of him, & he lost our trust (which is so hard to get back.)  It just breaks my heart to see how all of this is self inflicted, he brought it upon himself.
My job as a parent is to show them the path when they are lost, but only they can walk down that road.  I let him know that everyone has made poor decisions numerous times in their lives, but that we have to deal with the fallout, the consequences of our actions.
Nothing in life is every just happy & sunny 100% of the time.  There are those dark times that we all must endure to get to the happy days, the days that make all the hardships worth while.  Only then do we appreciate the happiness & blessings in our lives.  I am happy to say, that tonight is almost over, which means tomorrow’s another day.  And another chance at making it better than today.

Anyone out there that can relate, feel free to leave me a comment or two. 

Happy & Content

Last week, (on January 29th) I turned 35.  Without really realizing it, I was internally freaking out.  I was freaking myself out so badly, the night before my birthday, I felt like I was having a heart attack, or at least what I pictured it would feel like.  Sharp pains on my left side and my arm felt numb.  I thought for sure there was something wrong.  But there wasn’t anything wrong with me.  It was all anxiety, as embarrassing as it is to admit.

Why on Earth was I freaking out?  The thought of being  halfway to 40 (which is crazy to think about), was bothering me a lot.  As I enjoyed my simple but super fun birthday , I kept thinking about my life now & how far I have come.  As i looked deeper and deeper into my life, I realized how happy & content I am.  Why would I let a number bother me when I am at a good place in my life?  Over the course of my birthday, the anxiety I had, melted away.  And in its place was the feeling of contentment, of happiness.  And instead of freaking out about how old I am, I was able to see all the positive things that makes my life full of happiness & contentment.  And in doing this, it made my birthday so much more enjoyable and fun.

 

Calm Before The Storm

Today, I spent the day getting ready for a blizzard coming our way tonight and lasting till late Tuesday night/ Wednesday morning.  The Northeast will be getting slammed in a little bit, but thankfully we are ready for it.  I used to hate it when it snowed, since we were never prepared, but it’s different when you are ready and waiting.

One thing that happens for me everytime we get ready for a storm like this, is how it gives me a glimpse of our lives, without the ease of electronics, how the people lived way back when, in the olden days.  It makes me realize just how ease we have it nowadays.  But it also makes me aware how much electronics can take away from our lives if we let it for ex. less actual person to person interaction.  So, yes I am thrilled about tonights snow because it gives me some extra time with my family, plus it gives us something to play in.

So here I am, waiting for our blizzard preparing & making sure we have plenty of food & water, keeping candles all in one spot w/ a lighter, checking our inverter making sure it still works……..to mention a few things.

Are you in the red zone (blizzard warning zone), going to be hit by the the storm coming to the Northeast?  Are you ready for it?  Are you happy we are finally getting snow?  I seem to be one of the only ones happy about getting this much snow.   What are you doing to prepare for the storm? 🙂

 

Healthier Berry Crumble Cake

I am sure by now, everyone has seen all over the internet and Pinterest different versions of cakes & diet cakes using a few ingredients, one being certain kinds of soda.  I decided for my son’s 12th party (today) I will have a cake as well as a diet cake since some of us are watching what we eat.  My mother in law was the one who showed me these cakes and then I did a little research looking different kinds of cakes, people have made.  There are a lot to choose from, but today I decided to go with a blend of mixed berries.  Here’s the link to view more cakes like this one http://www.pinterest.com/seraireland/pins/

The cake is good is more of a crumble rather than cake.  Everyone seemed to enjoy the cake, so I would say it was a hit here.  This recipe is not only frugal, but rather cheap too (depending what you use for a filler like berries or apple filling or something else).  For me, the berries were on sale, which made the total cost of this dessert $5.46 & has 16 servings making it $.45/serving.  For the recipe, check out this link.  Her step by step directions are fantastic.  http://livingachangedlife.blogspot.ca/2011/04/recipe-review-berry-cobbler.html

Have you made this cake before?  If so, what version did you make? 

 

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Plantains & Yucca Root-Healthy, Versatile, Frugal Produce W/ Recipes

Plantains & Yucca Root

 Plantains at my local store is anywhere from $.20 to $.50 each.  If you live near a Spanish store, you will pay much less.  The Yucca root I have paid between $1.25- $2.00 for it.  With either option, you are still paying way less than you would for other produce that was in season.
Plantains

Plantains can be used for breakfast, lunch, dinners, snacks, or even desserts.  Depending on how you want to make it.  I decided that this last time, I would make desserts with it.  For less than $2 I was able to make enough desserts to feed my entire family.  All I did was make a homemade dough, filled each one with plantains, cinnamon, brown sugar, a few other spices….viola homemade hand pies highlighting plantains.  Recipe is below…..For the Yuccu Root, after I took the skin off (which can be hard at first but it does get easier), I tried just boiling it.  My kids loved it so much they ate everything up.  We all agreed, that it tastes like butter, but just warning you, it is a little stringy like a banana.  As long as that texture doesn’t bother you, you will be fine.  I also put another recipe up just in case anyone wants to try these foods. **I also included in the general information on how to prepare each item so everyone know how to handle them from beginning to end at consumption.**  Before anyone asks me, yes these 2 ingredients are healthy for you.  I am including some information about these 2 items since they aren’t everyday items that people would use.  Below is some quick facts for you…………. There isn’t any excuse on trying these new foods, since you can have dinner & dessert made for around $5 which feed my family of 7.  Told you, its a great way to try new things and feed your family healthy whole foods, while saving money.  It can’t get better than that.  Plantains have a number of internal health benefits. Plantains, like bananas, are a quick source of energy, according to HealthGuidance.org. Plantains can ease symptoms of a variety of ailments, including arthritis, gout, anemia, allergies, kidney stones, tuberculosis and urinary disorders. They promote digestion. And because plantains enhance calcium, phosphorus and nitrogen retention, they can assist the regeneration of healthy tissue.Plantains are used in a variety of skin treatments. They are a commonly used as an anti-wrinkle treatment, according to HealthGuidance.org. Mash a quarter of a plantain and spread it on the face for 15 to 20 minutes daily. To treat skin allergies, mix a plantain with a cup of milk and drink it two to three times daily. Plantain peels can be used to treat warts; press the inside of the peel against the wart and tape it in place. When the peel turns black, remove it and repeat until the wart is gone. To treat poison ivy, apply the inside of a peel to the rash.According to HealthGuidance.org, plantains are a mood enhancer because they contain the amino acid tryptophan. They can also help people who suffer from seasonal affective disorder. Plantains are high in magnesium and potassium, which can help the body and mind deal with the symptoms of withdrawal from a habit-forming substance.
Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/


Yucca Root
Yucca root contains resveratrol. Resveratrol is a natural phytoalexin has proven antioxidant properties that protect the body from damage caused by oxidation. Oxidation produces free radicals that can lead to an increased potential for conditions such as heart disease. Yucca roots can help stop the buildup of oxygen free radicals, and prevent blood vessel damage.

The high saponin content of yucca roots allow its extract to dissolve in water and oil, notes Drug Digest. Once in the stomach, these saponin particles attach to cholesterol, and can assist to prevent the body from absorbing it. This allows cholesterol to easily be expelled from the body as bile. More cholesterol in your bile means less cholesterol in your bloodstream.

My favorite way to cook it, is to simply boil it till the desired tenderness and serve it along side ham and/or eggs.  Below I included a recipe that is a little more detailed but does include plantains & yucca root.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/158692-yucca-root-health-benefits/#ixzz2glS2b5Zv

Best Chiquita Plantain Tarts Recipe Taken From Http://Www.Chiquitabananas.Com/Banana-Recipes/Plantain-Tarts-Recipe.Aspx

Ingredients:

• 2   unbaked prepared pie crust sheets ( I made me own)
• 2   small, very ripe Chiquita® Plantains (peel should be mostly or all black)
• 1/4   cup Brown sugar
• 1/4   tsp. Nutmeg
• 1/4   tsp. Cinnamon
• 1/8   tsp. Salt
• 1   Egg, beaten
•   Sugar

Instructions For:

Best Chiquita Plantain Tarts Recipe

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Unroll or roll out pie dough. Using a 4 to 5-inch cutter cut 8 round circles from the dough. Peel and mash plantains until very smooth. Stir in brown sugar, nutmeg, cinnamon and salt. Place 2 tablespoons of plantain filling in the center of each round. Fold the rounds in half and crimp edges with fingers or a fork. Lightly brush tops with egg and sprinkle with sugar. Bake for 25 minutes or until the pastry looks golden brown. Cool before serving as the filling will be very hot.

Sancocho Recipe

taken from http://www.ifood.tv/recipe/dona_rossana_cooks_sancocho_soup

Ingredients

1 whole chicken (about 3 lbs)

1 1/2 tablespoon salt

1 bay leaf

8 cups water

4 green plantains

4 potatoes (1 1/2 lbs)

4 pieces yucca (1 1/2 lbs)

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 small tomato

1 small onion

2 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 green pepper

1/2 red pepper

1 sprig thyme

1/4 teaspoon cumin

1/4 teaspoon saffron

1/4 teaspoon Badia yellow powder food coloring

1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro

Directions

Cut the chicken. In a heavy large caldero place the chicken, sprinkle with 1 1/4 tablespoon salt add 4 cups water and a bay leaf. Cook it for 20 minutes at medium heat.
Peel the plantains and using both hands give a twist make like 4 pieces and then try to make smaller pieces. Place the plantains in 4 cups of water, when the chicken is cooked add the plantains with the water. Let it cook for 10 minutes. Peel the potatoes, cut yucca and potatoes in small pieces, add to the pot. Let it cook for 10 minutes.In a nonstick pan make sofrito. Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil over low heat, add chopped tomato, onion, green pepper, red pepper, minced garlic and a sprig of thyme, sprinkle with 1/4 tablespoon salt. Let it cook for 10 minutes. Turn the heat off, add cumin, saffron, and yellow color. When sofrito is ready, add it to the pot, stir mix all the ingredients. Let it cook for an additional 5 minutes, turn the heat off, add cilantro.

Read more at http://www.ifood.tv/recipe/dona_rossana_cooks_sancocho_soup#7t3phAGXHP35Akrg.99

What is an unique ingredient that you use in your recipes?

4 Ways To Have A Frugal But Rewarding Adventure

This is the 1st of Tues Travels posts

Adventures, who doesn’t like them?  Traveling & exploring is a part of who I am.  I am in my element every time I go on a new trip, whether local or not.  Having an adventure can be as simple or complex as we make it.  For me, going on an adventure means going someplace that I don’t go to very often or exploring a local place but in a new way.  To complete my adventure I must always have 1 thing on hand, my camera.  I keep it simple, fun, & relaxing.  More so than not, it gives me time to reflect & do a little self searching, which is so very beneficial for me.

This year, I made a pact with myself, that once a week I would go on an adventure (big or small).  I would take time out for myself while all 5 kids are in school all day.  We all need this time and for once I am putting it aside and making it a priority to do so.

One thing people ask me all the time, is how I can afford to go on an adventure.  It makes me smile when I get asked because most people’s idea of an adventure is something you would see on tv.  They don’t understand  that these trips don’t have to cost an arm or leg, in fact it usually is only the cost of gas $ and an occasionally lunch.

We have it in our power to make a trip simple, cheap, & fun or a grand, expensive, & stressful time.  Below are 4 tips to help make your next adventure simple, frugal, & fun.

4 Ways To Have An Frugal But Rewarding Adventure

*Change your perspective–

You can have adventure anywhere, you just need to open your eyes & change your perspective.  Instead of thinking about a fantasy getaway, realize you can have a great adventure in your hometown, in your back yard.  For me, living in a rural town, I can go on any local walking trail or the local Dam and have a new adventure each time.  I am lucky for this, but in the city you can do the same.  Just act like a tourist & try to look at things from a fresh set of eyes.  For example: tomorrow I will be going out on a trip to an hr or so away, depending how I feel tomorrow morning.  This could mean walking around the city of Lowell Mass or going to a rural Vermont town or going to a Maine seacoast town.  Any of these would satisfy my traveling bug & bring new something to table.  Make today your day 1 and open your eyes to the wonderful world around you.

*Interact with people you meet-

I am an introvert, which makes walking up to random people and striking conversations a hard task to do.  Instead, when I am walking around, taking pics or taking it all in, 9 times out of 10 someone will interact with me.  And then I do engage with them enough to get a story out of them or out of the place I am at.  And let me tell you, strangers have the most interesting stories to tell you.  And for me, if the story interests me, I will add it with the pic I took, as a keepsake of my adventure.  And what a unique keepsake it is.

*Make your hobby a part of your adventure-

If you don’t know me, I am sure by now, you realize that photography is my number 1 hobby, a hobby that I completely just love.  And I love how it goes hand in hand with traveling so perfectly.  If photography isn’t your thing, see if somehow your hobby will fit into traveling like if you paint, paint at each spot you travel too.  I am sure, if you really think about it, your hobby can somehow fit into your travels, your adventures.

*Have a low to no $ budget-

Make the point of your trip about experiencing the world around you, not spending your money.  If you want bring a little something for lunch but nothing more.  I try to pack my own snacks & lunches, that way the $ I bring with me is for gas.  But don’t get me wrong, occasionally, I do treat myself to lunch.  And if I come across something I really want or need, I will go home empty handed.  If it is really that important for me to have, then I will have to pay for gas to get out there again.  Usually, it isn’t worth another trip out.

I hope these tips are helpful in encouraging you to start having your own adventures.  What was an adventure you took that was not only frugal & fun but rewarding as well?  Any other tips you would add to my list above?  Love to hear your thoughts on this 🙂

 

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True Friend

Today’s post is short and sweet since I am still not feeling well.

Never underestimate the power of a true friend.  During my road to recovery & my weight loss journey, my true friends have been one of the greatest blessings for me. They are my muscles when I am weak.  They are my motivation when I’ve lost mine.  Within each of us, lies the power to heal or to hurt, to make or break, to be true or to be fake.  Remember the old saying, ” you are who you surround yourself with.”  What kind of friend are you?  What kind of people do you surround yourself with?

5 Tips For Living With A Chronic Illness

**This is late because I’ve been sick on and off for a few days now.  I thought I would address this in my series, since my illness is the whole reason I began my weight loss journey.  And it’s the reason why I have limitations on what I can do to lose my weight.**

If you meet me in real life, you wouldn’t be able to tell that I am sick and live with a chronic illness.  You wouldn’t be able to see how I struggle some days, to do the simplest of tasks because of my illness.  How bending over to pick up my kitchen floor, is so painful, I have to have my children do it for me.  Or when I can’t move other than from the bathroom to couch and back, because the pain is uncontrollable.  How for the longest time, my life revolved my throw up bouts which lasted weeks on end (throw up bouts-I get sick a lot and puke sometimes everyday for a few weeks at a time) because who wants to throw up anywhere but their own home?  No, I don’t look sick on the outside, but looks can be deceiving.  Unless someone knows me, they don’t know how my days are a struggle because of my chronic illness in some shape or form.  I stopped complaining for two reasons: 1. no one wants to hear me complain every single day of my life……..talk about depressing and 2. this is my life, this is what I have been dealt with……..it’s a part of who I am today.  Sure, sometimes it gets the better of me and I start to feel sorry for myself and cry  like when I am out in public and I get my stomach pains from a flair up, which is similar to Chrone’s disease, and I literally run to the bathroom where I explode.  Usually, I have my 2 little ones in tow.

Unless you have a chronic illness, or have a close loved one who does, it’s hard to understand what people like me go through on a daily basis.  The last few days have been hard for me because I’m having a flair up, but life keeps moving, whether you’re sick or not.  Even when I am in the trenches, with little hope, grasping to whatever I can to keep me up, I always try to move forwards, no matter how small my steps are.  It’s a hard road to travel on, but it’s one that I am grateful for, since it showed me the way to living a healthier lifestyle.  Along the way, I have discovered a few things, that has made my travels a little easier.  Below are 5 tips or mental notes to help others out there like me.

 

5 Tips For Living With A Chronic Illness:

*Accept the situation & yourself for what it is-

Once you accept that this is your life, you will be able to move on.  For the longest time, I fought that this was how my life would be.  I was determined to get my old life back before I was sick, which made things worse for me.  Once, I realized that this is how it’s going to be, I was able to move on and learn ways to cope with my illness so I could start reliving my life.  This step took me awhile, so don’t expect overnight realization.  My aha moment was when I thought I was going to die.  Sitting in the hospital all alone thinking about leaving my 5 kids and hubby, really woke me up.  I felt like I was given a 2nd chance, and no matter what my limitations are, I am still alive living a healthier happier life with my family.  And I try to live each day to the fullest because I know just how precious and short life really is.

*Figure out ways to cope with your illness-

This is an ongoing learning experience.  There will always be things to learn that will make my life easier.  When I 1st got sick, I was determined to keep up with everything as if I wasn’t sick.  Once I accepted my situation for what it was, I was able to figure out ways to help me get things done like simple chores.  For the longest time, I couldn’t bend down much if at all.  I couldn’t lift and do my normal household duties.  So, my children had to step up and help me.  To this day, there is still a lot I can’t do, but my children do it without complaining because they know I physically can not.

*Your not alone-

No matter how alone we feel at any given moment, there are others out there going through the same situation you are.  If you are looking to interact with others who also suffer from chronic illnesses, look to local and/or online support groups.  For me personally, since my illness is rare and no one has it here in the states, I went overseas to find a support group.  There was a small inactive one.  So I broadened my perimeters and found a support group that was more general.  There are others out there, you just need to find them.

 

*Take care of your whole self (mind, body, & spirit)-

It’s important to take care of our whole self, especially if you suffer with a chronic illness.  Living a healthy lifestyle isn’t just about eating properly and exercising, it’s about taking proper care of your mind, body, & spirit.  Do what you feel is right, to take care of yourself, & never apologize for it.

 

*Simplify your life-

The simpler our life is, the easier and happier to seems to be.  Or at least that’s how it is for me.  Over the last year or so, I have been trying to simplify all areas of my life.  I began by cutting out the negativity that surrounded me including my self talk (which was a game changer on its own), decluttering my house, & putting memories & experiences in its place.

 

Living with a chronic illness is challenging but it isn’t the end of the world, unless you let it.  We are stronger than we think, and don’t know how strong we are till we are put into challenging situations.  Life is what we make of it, so make it a good one.

I would love for others to add other helpful tips & ideas.  🙂

 

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Helpful Tips for Developing a Healthy Relationship With Food

Dieting, never works for anyone in the long run.  Sure, you may be lucky enough to lose weight, but once you go off the diet, you tend to gain the weight back and sometimes gain more.  It’s a very frustrating path, that I didn’t want to take.  But where does one start?

Before I go any further, I need to explain a little bit about myself, so you can understand where I come from.  I was a child who had a little baby fat, but nothing out of the ordinary.  As a teen till about 31 yrs old, I was thin, very thin.  I remember after having my 3rd child, and walking out looking fantastic and super thin.  I couldn’t gain weight, only if I was pregnant.  People always said to me ” must be nice!”  But in fact it wasn’t.  If I did eat all the time, picking like a bird, I got sick and got migraines.  Since it didn’t matter what I ate, I never gained a pound, I ate really really bad.  Actually quite terrible.  I never learning about eating healthy, I thought healthy food was gross and preferred the junk.  My eating habits were set and nothing was going to change that.  Well nothing till I got sick.  Being sick rocked my world and changed me in so many ways.   Believe it or not, I am thankful for the path that I was on, sickness and all.  It put me on a different path, a healthier path…….one that I am still currently on.  And now I get to show my children by example and teach them the importance of living a healthy lifestyle, but making healthy choices.

Once I was determined to show my drs, my friends & family, and myself that yes I am able to lead a healthier life,  one that I was able to lose the weight, exercise, and be more present in.  I decided my 1st step was to focus on the foods we eat and maintaining a healthy relationship with them.

10 helpful tips to help you develop a healthier relationship with food

1. look at my food selections and where I can replace the unhealthy choices with a healthier option….make sure the 1st things you replace are your pantry staples.  You will thank yourself down the road.

2. find cheap ways to eat healthy……..$$$$$ shouldn’t matter when it comes to our health and eating healthy.  I found awesome ways to continue with eating healthy on a small small budget.

3. make a menu of each day……..till it comes 2nd nature to you.  I put in breakfast, snack, lunch, shake, dinner, snack or shake.

4. to help your metabolism reboot itself, research & try carb cycling…….if you want to know more, I would be more than happy to talk with you about this.

5. don’t be fooled with breakfast food for breakfast, lunch food for lunch……..Change up your meals to keep it fresh.  There are mornings that I eat ground turkey w/ peppers & onions for breakfast.

6. know that our body needs fat but healthy fats……..like avocados, olive oil, nuts etc……..

7. in order to loss weight we need to increase our protein intake…….Adult men need about 56 grams a day…..Adult women need about 46 grams a day (71 grams, if pregnant or breastfeeding) taken from http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/protein

8. be realistic about your goals with weight loss……..instead of dieting, you are changing your lifestyle, which takes time.  Make sure you goals are obtainable…..for me it took me about 2 yrs to put on my 90lbs.  So I gave myself 2 yrs to get it off.

9. know the difference between emotional eating or if you are actually hungry……..if you feel hungry, drink an 8oz glass of water.  If you are still hungry in 15-30mins then your hungry, otherwise you may just be bored.

10. Give yourself some a break…….it’s not an overnight change, it take time.  If you fall, get right back up and continue on your way.  No one is perfect, we all have our good and bad days.

 

Below I have included some good blogs and articles I have found helpful.

http://www.alternet.org/story/149704/5_steps_to_developing_a_healthy_relationship_with_food

http://life.gaiam.com/article/9-ways-build-healthier-relationship-food

http://www.wellnessresources.com/tips/articles/how_protein_helps_weight_loss/

http://www.alive.com/articles/view/17356/creating_a_healthy_relationship_with_food

 

What is another way that helps you develop your relationship with food? 

What Simple Living Means To Me

Simple living is a rather old concept that has become ever so popular over the last 5 or 6 years.  How many of our ancestors lived a simple life?  More and more I hear people talking about living simply, simple living, minimalism etc…. (there are numerous catch words people throw around to describe a simple way of living.)  To everyone simple living or living simple means something a little different.

For me living intentionally simple means:

●embracing frugality through recipes, diy, & helpful information that helps me learn to save & refocusing our $ to where it is important to us like traveling and vacations, for example.  (I am the frugal queen, be prepared for upcoming unique frugal ideas.) 

●understand simplicity

●exploring & traveling the world around us

●implementing minimalism in different areas of my life

●becoming more self sufficient with my homestead

●using the inspiration I find as fuel to spark creativity within me

●living healthy– we need to take care of ourselves & nourish our mind, body, & spirit.

This is my condensed list of what living intentionally simple is to me. Not only are all of these things important for me but it’s the way I live my life.  I practice what I preach.

What does simple living mean to you?  Why did you start your own journey towards living a simpler life?  I am interested in learning from others what made them start to reevaluate their lives and start their journey.

So welcome to my new blog where I will be exploring all of the things I listed in many different forms.  I am new, just starting out on my journey so I welcome others to share their thoughts and ideas with me along the way.  Here’s to simple beginnings of a simple life.